LOst..

Here i am siting in front of my Idiotic Boxed-shaped machine again.. Lost for words. Its like i don't know who i am anymore or what have become of me. I've got no one to turn too ; Just me ,myself and i. I'm just so totally FUming with Mad-ness.. At times when i totally don't have anyone to talk to i'll scream so hard at myself that it goes something like tis "URGH" , "NyaNi PootPoot" , "BLAHh" or i'll just scream my heart out.. i'm just so really FrusTrated!!! Mostly at myself. When something goes wrong i'll blame myself for it.. Even though i'm not in the picture. i don understand why but its just me..

THere's like so much Anger inside of me and it has to stop. At times i think to myself why is there so much anger inside of me? ANd so i thought that my anger is part of my Frustration. I have to control it now. Because of my anger it causes me plenty of trouble. *Ruins my whole entire day* There is plenty of anger inside of me. *thinks*And what is anger do I know? Is anger a strong feeling of displeasure or is it just a grief that I have inside of me? and now i'm just tryin 2 sort all of this nonsense alone by myself again. How can I control it? What triggers my anger? Can I recognize it? and how do i stop it ?



The cause of such anger in me

could it be Depression?

Depression= sadness; gloom; dejection. dullness or inactivity



Depression is so deep that it finds a way into the Soul, and travels through your Heart. A depression so large it encompasses every bit of your Reality, and leaves Reality a cloudy memory. A depression so dense it compresses every will you once had, and bows you down to accept it as it's own. Depression so devious it takes you piece by piece, and consumes each piece day by day. Next thing you know is that your a goner.. Depression so truly disheartening, and leaves you no other emotions. A depression so dangerous, it slaughters, everything, inside, of you.





Or could it be i just need a special someone to be there for me?

Alone?

alone=separate, apart, or isolated from others. solitarily; solely


When I’m lonely. I’m NEVER ALONE. I’m surrounded by people .That is not my own
When I’m lonely. I’m ENCLOSED IN HATE. The madness in my mind. Over takes
When I’m lonely .I have people around meMAKING ME FELL. Like I’m just a boundary

For ever in the shadows
Of all the smiling faces
Of this world

I sit at home
Screaming at the world
For casting me in its veil

When I’m lonely I shout out in SPITE
Why do I have to be lonely
Is there no one that’s my own

When I’m lonely
I imagine a valley
No life in sight
Just me being lonely

When I’m lonely
I close my eyes
I hope to wake up
To a surprise

I hope to find
Some one whose
Not lonely to guide me

I go insane
Being alone for so long
It affects your thoughts


When I’m lonely
I can not think
My thoughts are gone
It’s like my mind is not in sync

When I’m lonely
I Put on a smile
Fooling the world